https://www.bowermanfuneral.com https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/too-little-too-late-a-memorial-gone-wrong Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> <span> Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Since visitors were not allowed in the church without a docent, Jane began to accompany her guest to her destination. Striking up a conversation, Jane quickly discovered there was a story behind the sad eyes of her visitor. She revealed her name was Stella and she was here from Chicago. The pair talked a bit and Jane started to tell her about the church. As they walked and talked, Jane casually asked, “What brings you to this part of Virginia?” Stella spoke in a soft tone revealing she was here for a “sort of” memorial service for her mother. The pain was obvious on her face with her lips quivering and eyes glistening with small pools of tears.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> They walked into the church and sat in one of the high back pews carved from pine when George Washington was just three years old. The sun was shining through the wavy glass windows. Jane took Stella’s hands and asked her, “Would you like to tell me a little bit about your mother?” The floodgates opened. She talked for an hour. She told the story that was her Mom.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Stella was the single daughter. She had been the caregiver for her mother who died ten months ago. Her brother lived abroad and her sister and her family traveled frequently. Because it was hard to get them together, they all decided to forgo a funeral service and ship Mom’s cremated remains to Virginia for burial. It seemed, at the time, to make more sense to get together later.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> They agreed on June for the get together since that’s when their family typically came to visit mom and dad in this part of Virginia. They all stayed at a local inn and had dinner at their parent’s favorite restaurant. It was nice, but something was missing. There was no service. No words were spoken for Stella’s mother. It wasn’t enough for her. It was too little and too late. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It was obvious to Jane that Stella was distraught. There had been no closure. Jane’s heart broke for her. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why. Why was there no service? Even something small, private and simple would have been better than nothing. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Jane knew some people had a fear of planning a service. They don’t know how to or what to plan. They are at a loss. They should have they called the local funeral home for help. The funeral director could have helped them find someone to pull together a brief ceremony at the graveside or in the chapel. There could have even been a service in the lovely little church where Stella sat and cried with a stranger. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 09 Jan 2025 20:34:28 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/too-little-too-late-a-memorial-gone-wrong thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/what-do-funeral-directors-do It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Today, there was a funeral. People cried. Tissues were crumpled and left on the tables.  Flower petals fell to the floor. Now, the cleaning staff is making things tidy for the family who will be here tomorrow.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Someone in our town died away from home, the funeral director is traveling many miles to bring him home and into the funeral home’s care. The light is on in anticipation of his safe return.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Hospice called. The teacher who taught the funeral director -- and you -- in the third grade isn’t expected to make it through the night. He’s catching up on paperwork while he keeps vigil. Soon he’ll be called to the home and it will be his turn to take care of the teacher.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There are computer problems. The video tribute file a family sent won’t work. We’re staying late to make it right for their service.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It was a busy day today and we still need to notify Social Security and the Veteran’s Administration of Mr. Smith’s death.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There’s been a terrible accident. We’re doing our best to make a loved one presentable so that they can say goodbye with dignity.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The obituary the Jones’s gave us for their father is full of misspellings. We need to correct them and get it to the paper.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> We’re reviewing all of the details for tomorrow’s service. When will the celebrant arrive? Do we have drivers for the cars? Who will be the pallbearers?  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> We’re checking tomorrow’s weather in case we need the umbrellas.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </span> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> The light is on because your neighbor, the funeral director, is pacing the floor. He can’t sleep. Tomorrow, he will oversee the service for his daughter’s classmate.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Sometimes death is just too close, even for him.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 06 Dec 2024 22:07:50 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/what-do-funeral-directors-do thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral When people organize a funeral gathering and ask friends and family to come to them to share in their loss and sorrow, to help them. Please go, hold a hand, give a hug, share a memory, offer your condolences, and smile at the video. Let them cry in a safe place. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Your presence is important. If there is any way possible, please, just be there. When a child is born it is a life changing event for the parents, siblings and grandparents at the very least. It may also be a life changing event for the kindergarten teacher five years in the future. Bottom line, life matters.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When a life ends, it is also a life-changing event. Regardless of the age at which the person dies or circumstances of the death, lives will change. Family and friends will never see that person again. They will not share in each other’s joy. Neither will they have the opportunity to heal old wounds. They will not hear that voice in praise, love or anger ever again. It’s over, and in some way everyone close will have to adjust to the change.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The funeral, the gathering together, acknowledges a living person is gone. Your presence says, “Yes, this life mattered. And, yes, your lives have changed. But not everything has changed, you still have us.” Going is important.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The funeral home is a safe place for the family to receive guests and their condolences. It’s ok to cry at the funeral home. In a few weeks when you see this friend of yours who lost her mom, you will want to say something. And when you do, the emotion will open up and the sadness will surface. Crying at the grocery store or the soccer field is uncomfortable for everyone.    </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When people organize a funeral gathering and ask friends and family to come to them to share in their loss and sorrow, to help them. Please go, hold a hand, give a hug, share a memory, offer your condolences, and smile at the video. Let them cry in a safe place. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 01 Aug 2024 15:53:17 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/food-and-funerals Food provides comfort and strength. A gift of food shows that we care. It’s natural to connect food with the healing process of a funeral. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Why is food such a fundamental part of any funeral? </span> </p> <p> <span> <span>  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span> Food provides comfort and strength. A gift of food shows that we care. It’s natural to connect food with the healing process of a funeral. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When should you give food? What’s helpful without being overwhelming? How do you accept food graciously without having to buy a second refrigerator?   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you’re helping a friend who is dealing with the death of a loved one, a gift of food is appropriate before the funeral, at the conclusion of the funeral, and even weeks or months after the funeral.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> As you think about your gift, be aware that your friend may not even know they’re hungry. They likely won’t be able to tell you what they want or need. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Take the initiative and make it easy on them. Call with a simple offer that can be changed to meet the needs of those on the receiving end. You might say something like this: </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> “I’d like to bring your family dinner tomorrow evening. I thought I’d bring you a turkey roast with a broccoli casserole. Will that work for you? I’ll bring dinner by around 10:30 a.m. It’ll be all ready for you to warm in the oven or microwave.”  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When you’re on the receiving end, be gracious, but honest. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Your friends want to help you. If their offer won’t be helpful, give them an opportunity to make a different suggestion. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> “Thank you for your offer, but we’re all set for the next few days. May I have a rain check?” </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you’re part of a close circle of friends, consider coordinating with others in your group to cover the family’s food needs on different days and with a variety of dishes. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Consider breakfast food. A basket with granola, muffins, or a breakfast casserole may be a nice change.   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Sheet pan dinners, where the entire meal is cooked on one pan in the oven, are easy for both parties. You can find lots of recipes online. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you don’t cook, consider giving a gift card for a local restaurant that offers take out.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Whatever you do, don’t forget your friend after the funeral is over. Most people find sitting alone at the dinner table one of the bigger challenges of their bereavement. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A loaf of your famous zucchini bread will be greatly appreciated and it’ll be even better if you can share it together over a cup of tea. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 01 Aug 2024 14:09:16 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/food-and-funerals thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> We buried my dad last week. My dad’s funeral would have been just a little more than $8,000 not counting the luncheon or cemetery space. However, thanks to his pre-need funeral plan that he prepared 18 years ago at the funeral home, we got it for $5,000 and some change. Saving money wasn’t necessarily what motivated him to make the plan in advance. But, let me tell you, my mom was pretty pleased to know she didn't have to write that check.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> Now, I should clarify something here. My mom is more than okay financially. Paying, even the full $8,000, for the funeral would not have been a financial issue. It was an emotional thing. She knew the death of my dad was going to change her life. She just didn’t know how it would change. So, everything, every action and especially spending money, increased her anxiety. We didn’t need that. Thank you, dad, for taking care of the plan and its cost well before it was needed.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> What motivated my father to pre-plan was the fact we are a blended family. It’s not the we don’t all get along, we do (most of the time). But, we don’t all have the same taste. My sister, his oldest daughter, likes the earth tones. Our mom, his wife, on the other hand, likes the jewel tones. My dad picked a black casket and even said he wanted to be buried in his navy suit. Seems like small stuff, but it probably saved us all some angst. There was no fuss, no brown suit and no hurt feelings.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If my dad would have asked us 18 years ago if he should pre-plan and pre-pay for his funeral, I feel certain all five of us would have said, “Don’t worry about that. We can take care of it when we have to.” I am so grateful that he did not ask and that he did not think just about the money portion of an advance funeral plan. Dad, thank you for being smarter than us and knowing that we would need your emotional support even in death.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:28:31 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word! <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word! So who should this woman see to discuss and share her wishes? Should she talk to an attorney? Her financial planner? Or a funeral director? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Both her attorney and financial planner suggested they could help but she wasn’t convinced based on her past experience. When her parents died the funeral was over before she even started to work on the finances and the estate. And there was so much attention paid to the final, final part…burial or cremation. She decided to contact her family funeral home and she met with Sue, the advance funeral planner. As it turns out, helping people get their funeral plans in place is Sue’s only job at the funeral home. And help this woman Sue did!  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> They talked about what this woman thought she wanted for her funeral plans. They talked a lot about her family – her husband, her four grown up sons, their wives and their children. Sue helped this woman see that although her sons would appreciate the Obi Wan idea, her husband would need something a little more traditional with a spiritual element. They talked about the cost and how she could keep that under control. They also talked about the burial and cremation options. Sue explained to the woman that if she wasn’t ready, she didn’t need to make a decision about burial or cremation. The woman ended up talking to her family about it and she was able to get her wishes recorded at the funeral home and she decided to use a payment plan. With her plan in place, she can go in and change her plans at any time (e.g. if she decides she wants to be cremated at a later date) and Sue will help her with that. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Sue also suggested the woman begin gathering those words of wisdom that she wants to share at her funeral and bring them to Sue so she can put them in the file. On the day of the woman’s funeral, the funeral directors will print these words of wisdom and hand them out to those attending the funeral. As it turns out, holograms aren’t available just yet, but Sue thinks they may be prior to this woman’s death. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> In the end, leaving the finances to the financial planner, the will &amp; estate planning to the attorney, and the funeral planning to the funeral home made the most sense for this woman. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:25:48 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences Condolences do matter and timing is important. Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the decades, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Condolences do matter and timing is important. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the decades, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. Social media is just fine under some circumstances and a personal visit is lovely. Additionally, many funeral homes have a place on their website to post condolences. This format allows your expression of sympathy to be delivered privately and quickly.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> So, let’s start with the newest trend - technology and social media. It’s so fast and so easy to access. If you are texting a co-worker several times a day about other things, it would seem rude to not mention the loss of her mother. Do use private messaging forms of social media with people you communicate with regularly in this manner. Caution!! Be very careful to not send a public condolence message using social media if your friend has not made an equally public announcement of his or her loss on the same platform. Do follow-up your message with a call or personal note. Finally, do not use electronic messaging if the receiver is not a regular user of tech.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> Hand written notes or cards made for just this purpose should be mailed to the person closest to the deceased or to a personal friend who has experienced a loss. Your personal note should be simple. Thoughts such as you are sorry for their loss, you are thinking of them in this difficult time or they are in your thoughts and prayers are appropriate. If you knew the deceased, you might share a brief story about the person who died and shares your connection.    </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Should you make a condolence visit? Oh, my yes! A personal visit is the only way to give a hug. However, do call ahead. Do keep your visit brief and do focus on the grieving individual. Please, don’t say you know how they feel even if you share a similar experience. There will be a time for sharing later. For now, just let them know you are sorry for their loss. Come as a listener not a problem solver. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:24:05 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/the-history-of-veterans-day Memorial Day honors those who died in service, Armed Services Day honors those who currently serve. Veterans Day honors ALL veterans. Thank a Veteran on November 11th and be very proud and happy to go to bed tonight in the United States of America. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Veterans Day, a national and state holiday, serves as a day for Americans to come together to show their deep respect and appreciation for the military veterans of our country. It is the one day a year when we pause, reflect and show our gratitude to all those who are serving or have ever served in our military. So how did it come to be? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> What we know today as Veterans Day was originally called Armistice Day. On November 11, 2019, we celebrate the 101 </span> ^st <span> <span> anniversary of the armistice that ended World War I. This armistice was signed at the 11 </span> </span> ^th <span> <span> hour on the 11 </span> </span> ^th <span> <span> day in the 11 </span> </span> ^th <span> <span> month of 1918. At the time, we believed World War I was “the war to end all wars”. One year after the armistice, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 </span> </span> ^th <span> <span> as Armistice Day to commemorate the end of World War I. In his address to his “fellow-countrymen” delivered from the White House on November 11, 1919, Woodrow Wilson praised the contribution of the American people and shared hope for the future. </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> With splendid forgetfulness of mere personal concerns, we remodeled our industries, concentrated our financial resources, increased our agricultural output, and assembled a great army, so that at the last our power was a decisive factor in the victory. We were able to bring the vast resources, material and moral, of a great and free people to the assistance of our associates in Europe who had suffered and sacrificed without limit in the cause for which we fought.  <br/> <br/> Out of this victory there arose new possibilities of political freedom and economic concert. The war showed us the strength of great nations acting together for high purposes, and the victory of arms foretells the enduring conquests, which can be made in peace when nations act justly and in furtherance of the common interests of men.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> To us in America the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service, and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of nations.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Of course, lasting peace was not to be. After the Second World War, Alabama veteran Raymond Weeks had the idea to expand Armistice Day to honor all veterans. On May 26, 1954, President Dwight Eisenhower signed into a law a bill presented by Congressman Ed Rees from Kansas establishing Armistice Day as a national holiday eight years after Weeks began celebrating Armistice Day for all veterans. Congress amended the bill on June 1, 1954, replacing "Armistice" with "Veterans," and it has been known as Veterans Day since. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Memorial Day honors those who died in service, Armed Services Day honors those who currently serve. Veterans Day honors ALL veterans. Thank a Veteran on November 11 </span> ^th <span> <span> and be very proud and happy to go to bed tonight in the United States of America. </span> </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:22:03 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/the-history-of-veterans-day thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. Your family should be the foundation for funeral planning.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> After all, the funeral is not really for the deceased…it is for those who survive. We show respect for all human life in the manner in which we care for the body that housed the soul or spirit of our loved one. Respect and dignity for the body is important. The funeral helps those of us who survive by changing our focus from the cause of the death to the life that was lived. The funeral is the beginning of our grieving process and that is why funerals are so important. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are planning in advance for your own final remembrance, begin by thinking of those who love you. Your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and even your co-workers, what will they remember? What will make them smile? What will comfort them? What will they need? When they think of you what will come to mind? How is faith a part of their lives? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are planning a funeral for a deceased family member, involve the children, grandchildren and even close friends in the process. Ask them how they remember their friend or relative. Remember, we have all had a unique relationship with the deceased, so what you want to remember may be different from what your brother remembers. Ask your funeral director for ideas so they can help you capture and express the unique personality of your family member in the service plan. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For many years funeral planning started with a different set of questions. It started with questions about the faith. What church did your mother belong to? It followed with questions about the decedent’s wishes. What do you think your dad would want? These are still good valid questions but basing the entire funeral plan on only these aspects may not touch every family member. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Mother may have preferred that no one see her after death, but if you, her daughter, need to see her, speak up. If you don’t share your brother’s faith and you need to hear a eulogy that is all about his life or see pictures that bring back your time growing up together, speak up. The imprint of the funeral sticks with the surviving family. It is literally the last memory we carry of someone we loved. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:20:07 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans It is not uncommon for people to ask themselves, “Since I never had any children, who will take care of my funeral plans?” That is all the more reason to preplan your own funeral! <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> It is not uncommon for people to ask themselves, “Since I never had any children, who will take care of my funeral plans?” That is all the more reason to preplan your own funeral! </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Each state has laws that say who will “own” your body when you die. The “owner” is responsible for making and paying for your funeral service and “final disposition”. Final disposition is simply what happens to your body in the end and those choices include burial, cremation or donation. Regardless of disposition, a funeral service with or without a religious component will take place before or after disposition. These are all choices the responsible person will make.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are to be cremated, there is still the matter of what will be done with your cremated remains. They can be kept by a family member, scattered on private property, buried in a cemetery, or kept in a columbarium niche. Again, this is a choice the responsible person will need to make. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> In most states the responsible person is your spouse. When there is no legal marriage then your parent will be responsible. If your parents are deceased, then your child will take the lead. When there are no children then your eldest sibling will be responsible.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> As you can see, this system only works if you and your family are all of like mind regarding the funeral and you are on the same page regarding faith. Since this is not always the case, you can break the legal chain and designate a person of your choice to carry out your wishes.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> It’s not at all difficult or even expensive. You just need to call the funeral home of your choice, ask for an appointment with the person who does the pre-planning. Be sure to tell that individual that you want to designate someone to carry out your wishes. He or she will need to get the proper paperwork for you to complete this task.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> This is also a perfect time to talk to the pre-planning person at the funeral home about your ideas regarding both your funeral service and your final disposition. A funeral professional can help you get everything written down so that your designated person will know just what to do. Since this person will also bear the financial burden for your funeral service and burial or cremation, you will want to talk to the advance funeral planner about eliminating that burden by prefunding your plan. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:18:16 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back. But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back. But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> This is stress. It is hard. If you can, reach out to your family and friends and let them help you. Have your son or daughter get the older grandchildren involved in pulling together pictures and music. They are really good at this stuff. Going through the pictures brings back happy memories and it’s one of the most therapeutic chores that comes with funeral preparation. Let them do something that will help them - they are dealing with this loss too. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If would you would like family and friends to donate to a charity, put someone in charge of looking into that. Have your daughter-in-law pull together a few clothing choices for your final selection. Send your son-in-law to the cemetery or have him get the cars washed. You may want to delegate the task of writing the eulogy and obituary. Give someone the job of gathering information for the funeral luncheon or brunch.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Spread the work around. Let go, embrace help and give them something to do. You’ll feel better that things are getting done and they’ll feel better because they are involved and helping. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:16:42 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost For most of us, one of our first questions when we think we need a funeral home soon is, “How much will it cost?” It’s understandable that everyone wants a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, there is no one simple answer. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> For most of us, one of our first questions when we think we need a funeral home soon is, “How much will it cost?” It’s understandable that everyone wants a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, there is no one simple answer. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Think of the last time you bought a pair of shoes. It’s not really helpful to know that the average cost of a pair of shoes is $75.00. So, what does an “average” pair of shoes look like? Shoes come in many different sizes, colors and styles. You wouldn’t expect to call the shoe store and ask, “How much does a pair of shoes cost?” Everyone needs some help finding the right fit for his or her feet. You also understand that you’ll need to share more information about the kind of shoe you are seeking before you find the cost. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> It’s the same with funerals. The funeral you choose will need to fit your family’s needs as well as your budget. The funeral director will help you with both. You will be pleased to know funeral homes are required to have standardized prices for everything they do. This price list must be printed and available for you. You should also take comfort in knowing there will be a range of prices associated with the choices you will be making. The funeral director wants you to be satisfied with both the service you select and with the costs associated with those services. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> As soon as you are able, it is a good idea to call the funeral home and ask to set up a time to meet with a funeral director to review your options and prices. There should be no cost for this meeting. This is the best way to assure that you understand what is involved with the various services so that you can get the best value for your dollar.  You can schedule this kind of meeting with as many funeral homes as you desire. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> At first, this may seem like a lot of work. The reality is, however, that you’ll obtain far more information by meeting with the funeral director versus searching online or making phone calls. You’ll save time, too. Don’t wait to set up that meeting if you think you’ll need a funeral home soon. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:15:09 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead When you plan your funeral in advance, you will also have the option of paying for it over time. That means you don’t have to take money from your savings or investments and your survivors won’t have the financial burden of paying for your funeral days after your passing. Advance planning eliminates the need for a lump sum payment when death occurs. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> How does planning for your funeral in advance save you money? Doesn’t it just let the funeral home make money on your money? How big a part should emotion play in your funeral selections? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> First, let’s be honest. Emotion is not a bad thing. Some life events should move us emotionally. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Marriage, birth, and death all appropriately tug at our heartstrings. But the cost of all three can also get out of hand if you make all the decisions when emotions are running high. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Put the word “wedding” in front of anything and the cost doubles. If you’ve ever planned a wedding you know that the dress will cost you half as much if you buy it far in advance instead of just before you need it. The same is true of funerals. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When you and your spouse sit down together with the funeral director, well in advance, you’ll feel a little emotion as you consider the reality of your death. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> But that little tug is nothing compared to what your husband or wife will feel if you don’t prepare in advance and they’re making those decisions alone hours after you’ve died. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Emotional overspending happens. Funeral directors don’t make it happen. In fact, they don’t like it either. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Advance planning allows you to make all the decisions that determine the final cost. Making them together with cool heads and warm hearts saves dollars. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Planning ahead eliminates the excessive spending that can occur when someone is in a heightened emotional state. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Think back to wedding planning. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Starting early can also help you absorb the cost over a longer period of time. That means you don’t drag the wedding debt into your brand new marriage. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When you plan your funeral in advance, you will also have the option of paying for it over time. That means you don’t have to take money from your savings or investments and your survivors won’t have the financial burden of paying for your funeral days after your passing. Advance planning eliminates the need for a lump sum payment when death occurs. </span> </p> <p> <span> All money set aside in advance for a funeral should be held with a third party. Nearly all funeral homes participate in programs that hold the dollars in either insurance or a trust product until the death occurs. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The funeral home should not have access to your funds and the insurance products they use should have an increasing death benefit to help offset inflation, providing a cushion for increasing funeral costs. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Consult with an advance planning specialist for more details. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:12:02 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering. Don’t underestimate the value of your presence. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering. Don’t underestimate the value of your presence.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support. So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 21 Jul 2024 20:11:50 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing. </span> </p> <p> <span> <span>  </span> </span> <span> <br/>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Don’t underestimate the power of your presence. </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s important. Just being there says more than you can know. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Keep your words simple. </span> </p> <p> <span> “I’m sorry for your loss” may be all that is needed. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Share your story. </span> </p> <p> <span> If you have a brief anecdote about how you interacted with the deceased, share it. Knowing how her sister lit up her workplace may just be the most comforting thing a mourner can hear.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Use the deceased person’s name. </span> </p> <p> <span> “Mary always made me laugh.” “John had the longest drive, too bad it wasn’t always straight.” “We always knew when Big Bad Byron was in the plant, everyone was on their toes.” “Nobody made better chocolate chip cookies than your mother.” </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Avoid using common platitudes. </span> </p> <p> <span> Resist the temptation to tell the bereaved how they must feel -- “grateful that he is in a better place,” “relieved that his suffering is over,” “grateful for a long life,” etc. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> We don’t know how that wife, husband, mother, son, or daughter actually feels. Just say you’re sorry for their loss. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Let them tell you how they feel and accept it with a nod or hug. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Don’t forget about listening.  </span> </p> <p> <span> Listen to understand, not just to hear. Listen to show you care, not to judge. Listen with love, even when you’ve heard the story before. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Sat, 13 Jul 2024 12:45:57 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span>  We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There’s a great deal of variety in funeral service today. The funeral home works with the surviving family to help them choose service options that reflect their lifestyle and belief system. The spouse, parents, or children of the deceased determine the content of the service. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The service typically includes: </span> </p> <p> <span> 1.   A gathering or visitation </span> </p> <p> <span> 2.   A religious ceremony </span> </p> <p> <span> 3.   Burial or placement in a final resting location (committal) </span> </p> <p> <span> 4.   A luncheon, brunch, or wake </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The gathering may be held the evening before the service or the same day as the service. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The religious part of the service may be held in the funeral home chapel or in the family’s place of worship. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> At the conclusion of the service, a procession will usually travel to the graveside where the casketed body will be buried. Cremated remains may be buried, placed in a niche, presented to a family member for keeping, or scattered. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The committal service is often followed by a meal at the church, the funeral home’s celebration center, the family home, or a restaurant. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are attending a gathering or visitation that takes place before the service, the body may or may not be present. When the body is present in an open casket, attendees will usually approach the casket briefly and silently say a few words of farewell or prayer. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The family may choose to receive their guests informally and casually engage in conversation as they circulate among those attending or they may choose to receive guests in a more formal receiving line.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are attending a memorial service, the body will not be present. A memorial service may take place weeks or even months after the passing and may or may not include the presence of cremated remains. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The family may choose to have a memorial service for a variety of reasons. Some religions require that the body be buried immediately, necessitating service after burial. Some families just need more time to come together. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> How we celebrate a life is often less formal today. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The service may include pictures and music that reflect the lifetime of the deceased. Work or interests of the deceased are often reflected in objects placed in the room or favors shared with attendees. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Attendees may participate by sharing memories of the deceased. A family member or celebrant may also tell the life story in the form of a eulogy. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funerals are an important part of the grief journey that all families must travel when they lose a family member. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> We attend to support and help the family members transition their thoughts from the cause of death to the life’s legacy. This is so they can begin their long healing process. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Your attendance is appreciated and important. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/" target="_blank"> www.bowermanfuneral.com </a> </p> </div> Mon, 01 Jul 2024 16:12:19 GMT https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/make-the-most-of-the-season-by-following-these-simple-guidelines <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <p> The new season is a great reason to make and keep resolutions. Whether it’s eating right or cleaning out the garage, here are some tips for making and keeping resolutions. </p> </div> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <b> Make a list </b> <br/> <p> Lists are great ways to stay on track. Write down some big things you want to accomplish and some smaller things, too. </p> <br/> <b> Check the list regularly </b> <br/> <p> Don’t forget to check in and see how you’re doing. Just because you don’t achieve the big goals right away doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. </p> <br/> <b> Reward yourself </b> <br/> <p> When you succeed in achieving a goal, be it a big one or a small one, make sure to pat yourself on the back. </p> <br/> <b> Think positively </b> <br/> <p> Positive thinking is a major factor in success. So instead of mulling over things that didn’t go quite right, remind yourself of things that did. </p> </div> </div> Fri, 17 May 2024 15:18:18 GMT duda@aftercare.com (Tukios Websites) https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/make-the-most-of-the-season-by-following-these-simple-guidelines thumbnail main image https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/keep-in-touch-with-site-visitors-and-boost-loyalty <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <p> There are so many good reasons to communicate with site visitors. Tell them about sales and new products or update them with tips and information. </p> </div> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <p> Here are some reasons to make blogging part of your regular routine. </p> <p> <br/> <b> Blogging is an easy way to engage with site visitors </b> <br/> </p> <p> Writing a blog post is easy once you get the hang of it. Posts don’t need to be long or complicated. Just write about what you know, and do your best to write well. </p> <br/> <b> Show customers your personality </b> <br/> <p> When you write a blog post, you can really let your personality shine through. This can be a great tool for showing your distinct personality. </p> <br/> <b> Blogging is a terrific form of communication </b> <br/> <p> Blogs are a great communication tool. They tend to be longer than social media posts, which gives you plenty of space for sharing insights, handy tips and more. </p> <br/> <b> It’s a great way to support and boost SEO </b> <br/> <p> Search engines like sites that regularly post fresh content, and a blog is a great way of doing this. With relevant metadata for every post so search engines can find your content. </p> <br/> <b> Drive traffic to your site </b> <br/> <p> Every time you add a new post, people who have subscribed to it will have a reason to come back to your site. If the post is a good read, they’ll share it with others, bringing even more traffic! </p> <br/> <b> Blogging is free </b> <br/> <p> Maintaining a blog on your site is absolutely free. You can hire bloggers if you like or assign regularly blogging tasks to everyone in your company. </p> <br/> <b> A natural way to build your brand </b> <br/> <p> A blog is a wonderful way to build your brand’s distinct voice. Write about issues that are related to your industry and your customers. </p> </div> </div> Fri, 17 May 2024 15:18:17 GMT duda@aftercare.com (Tukios Websites) https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/keep-in-touch-with-site-visitors-and-boost-loyalty thumbnail main image https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/tips-for-writing-great-posts-that-increase-your-site-traffic <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <p> Write about something you know. If you don’t know much about a specific topic that will interest your readers, invite an expert to write about it. </p> </div> </div> <div> <img src="https://irt-cdn.multiscreensite.com/md/unsplash/dms3rep/multi/desktop/photo-1455849318743-b2233052fcff.jpg" alt="" title=""/> <span> </span> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <b> Speak to your audience </b> <br/> <p> You know your audience better than anyone else, so keep them in mind as you write your blog posts. Write about things they care about. If you have a company Facebook page, look here to find topics to write about </p> <br/> <b> Take a few moments to plan your post </b> <br/> <p> Once you have a great idea for a post, write the first draft. Some people like to start with the title and then work on the paragraphs. Other people like to start with subtitles and go from there. Choose the method that works for you. </p> <br/> <b> Don’t forget to add images </b> <br/> <p> Be sure to include a few high-quality images in your blog. Images break up the text and make it more readable. They can also convey emotions or ideas that are hard to put into words. </p> <br/> <b> Edit carefully before posting </b> <br/> <p> Once you’re happy with the text, put it aside for a day or two, and then re-read it. You’ll probably find a few things you want to add, and a couple more that you want to remove. Have a friend or colleague look it over to make sure there are no mistakes. When your post is error-free, set it up in your blog and publish. </p> </div> </div> Fri, 17 May 2024 15:18:17 GMT duda@aftercare.com (Tukios Websites) https://www.bowermanfuneral.com/tips-for-writing-great-posts-that-increase-your-site-traffic thumbnail main image